Parenting Guide : The Most Important Things You Can Do For Your Child

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself this question, what is one of the most important things that I can do for my child? Something that will bring them joy and make them happy. You want it to be impactful and long lasting right? Something that will effect their lives in a positive way, right? Every parent or caregiver wants their children to be happy, safe and healthy and be the best they can be.

Parenting Guide :  The Most Important Things You Can Do For Your Child

How do you think  that can happen? It can happen through taking care of yourself. Self care is one of the most important gifts you can give to your child. Not only does it benefit you and your child but the entire family unit as a whole even if it's just you and your child. A happy parent helps the whole family to be happy and makes a happy child.

When you take care of yourself you are communicating and  being a role mode of self love for your child. You are teaching them to take care of and value themselves. You  are teaching them self respect and that they matter and are worth the extra time it takes to take care of themselves.

What happens with you effects your child. It may not be so obvious at first, especially if they are really young and don't have the words to express how they feel or are even aware of their emotions. If you are not in a good mood this effects your child. When you are not in a good mood your energy is low, you are stressed and not able to tolerate much. You tend to be short tempered and irritable. When your emotions are compromised this effects your thinking and judgement as well as clarity.

WAYS TO FIND TIME FOR SELF CARE

1. First identify and remember the things that bring you joy

It doesn't have to be anything major. It could be as simple as remembering to take a few deep breaths, run yourself a hot bubble bath, buy flowers, or read. It could be taking a class of some sort or you may love learning. Brain storm and write down everything that comes to mind don't leave anything out and everything counts. Remember to include the things that cost money and those that don't. You want to create a feeling of ease, deliciousness and feelings of being nurtured and cared for.


2. Write down the time it takes to accomplish those things

The reason why you want to have the time next to the item is because one of our biggest excuses is "I don''t have the time or where will I find the time". That won't be the excuse anymore because now you will have an idea of the time that it takes to accomplish this self care item. This will be putting the odds in your favor and also insure that you get it in.

3. Plan and prepare

You want to make sure you have the items that you need on hand ahead of time and not have to do something like run out to the store. Arrangements such as a babysitter or having someone pick up  your kids fall into this category. Getting and asking for help is also part of preparing.


4. Schedule It!!!

Now that you know what it is that you would like to do,  find a space of time in your day to get it done. Some of the best times are early in the morning before everyone gets up or  late at night after everyone has gone to bed. Don't leave out other times during the day like when you are waiting for an appointment or for them to finish a sport or class. Or any other brake that you have during the day.

Parenting Guide :  The Most Important Things You Can Do For Your Child

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT WHICH IS WHY IT'S IN BOLD PRINT. SELF CARE IS AN ESSENTIAL NOT A LUXURY!!

Schedule self care every single day. It is not a luxury or something that you do once in a while or when you have the time or on some special occasion. It has to become a habit, a ritual like bathing in the morning before your day. It has to be as habitual as brushing your teeth and combing your hair. Look at it as your are making deposits into your bank of well being, care and self love.

When you make this a habit you will find you mood and outlook will be brighter. You will be well equipped to deal with whatever comes your way. And even if you aren't at least you will have reserves to pull from. REMEMBER YOU ARE SO WORTH IT!!!! Let me know how you make out. Make it easy, pleasurable and fun and it can also be small. Be forgiving and compassionate with yourself and realize you wont get it perfect right of out the box. But know you can do it.

Parenting Guide : Parenting Awareness

There comes a time in everyone's life where they stop and look back at past events. When doing so, they shock themselves by thinking what their past self would react seeing where they are at the moment. They might start to wonder what life would have been if they hadn't gone to that party, or if they did volunteer at that hospital. Sadly, there are times when we wish we could've done something different or wished we didn't do things that we did.

We often ask the question "Where am I". Whether it's when we are looking at the mirror at ourselves or cleaning up our rooms or looking at the clock when you just awoke. Buddhists have a very simple answer to this question. The present moment, that's all that matters. When it comes to parenting, it's very important.

Parenting Guide : Parenting Awareness

Not many of us are in the moment when doing certain activities, however the option to choose so is always available. When was the last time you washed the dishes or cleaned the house and actually thought about what you were doing in that moment? Some of us just turn on the radio and listen to the music as we clean. Others just space out or day dream. Some might turn on the T.V. and glance every now and then.

If we resist the temptations of thinking about the past or what if scenarios, we'll greatly reap the many benefits of the present and what is happening at the moment. Understanding what is around us, who is around us and what we are doing here and now is important. It is also important to be aware of what you say and how others react as well as vice versa. Buddha himself has a great poem dictating the present moment:


Do not pursue the past. 
Do not lose yourself in the future. 
The past no longer is. 
The future has not yet come. 
Looking deeply at life as it is 
In the very here and now, 
The practitioner dwells 
In stability and freedom. 
We must be diligent today. 
To wait until tomorrow is too late. 
Death comes unexpectedly.

Awareness in Parenting and Children

When it comes to parenting, it is vital to be in the present moment. When the time comes when we have children, many of us will be put under stress. Whether this stress be that we have to constantly take care of the child or how much harder we will have to work to support the child. Focusing the mind on the present during these days is vital for the happiness of your children as well as yourself.

Living in the present allows us to be more relaxed and calm. Children have the great ability of being guides for us. They guide us to see who we really are and how we act. All children live in the present moment. They don't think about the past as much as we do and they don't worry about the uncertainty of the future. Their mind is focused on what is happening now. If we observe how they act more and more often, our children can teach us how to live a life (or live in moments) where we are emancipated from worry or fear about the future and be happy with what is happening now and where we are.

There are many parents who go through their parenting life who are on "auto pilot". What this means is that they go through their days, weeks, months and years going to the store, buying groceries, buying diapers, baby formula and so forth, then return home, take care of the child and wait till they go to sleep, then they go off to do their other stuff.

Then, there are those parents who realize that what they've done, they weren't really in the moment. They were always thinking of what to do tomorrow, or next week, or sometime in the future. They never really stopped and focused on the now. These parents begin to focus on their children and they become aware of what is happening. In the end, these parents are the happy ones because they get the delight of truly seeing their child grow up right in front of them and how they've changed because of the child.

Benefits of Awareness for Parents

With the ability to become more calm and relaxed when becoming more aware, awareness allows us to understand perspectives more efficiently and understand more about ourselves. A lot of times, we judge. We judge how we look, how other people look, how they act and so forth. Judging can sometime bring forth negative emotions that'll add necessary stress in our lives. Applying Buddhist awareness allows us to understand our emotions and our judgments without actually standing behind them. It allows us to know and not do. It helps us let go of biases and thoughts and truly see what is.

The more we practice non-judgemental aproahces in life, the less stress will be put on us. Being a calm and aware parent is very important. When raising children, we shouldn't instantly scold them. Rather, we should find out what happened and then proceed with the necessary measures. This allows us to fully indulge in seeing how our child grows right in front of us and allows us to understand that no matter how dark the night is, there will always be a sunny morning tomorrow.

What you can do to become a better parent

1. When taking care of your child or spending quality time with your child, be aware of what is happening in that moment
2. Practice not judging and having a non-judgemental attitude; view things the way they are with a non-bias opinion
3. Ask yourself how awareness can help you and why it's important when taking care of your children or in any situation in life
4. Question and consider if you are truly in touch with parenthood (are you really being a parent or are you just being someone who just takes care of the child. Be proactive, get involved in your child's life, be there for them when they need and be loving, caring, understanding and ultimately be their guide)
5. Believe that all moments happen for a reason and have value in them, focus on them when you need to and let go of them when you have to
6. Always tell yourself to be aware of your surroundings and what you are doing in the moment (think of a child walking into a new room for the first time glancing at objects surrounding them, then them coming to you and grabbing you by your hand towards a object of interest and asking you about it)
7. Know that you always have the choice in where your focus lie. When you encounter negative emotions, know when it's time to indulge in how you feel, yet also know when it's time to let go
8. Always question your current perspective to any given situation. Can you do anything to change the tide of the situation? Perhaps there are positive aspects to the situation
9. Always know that nothing can be perfect (you, your children, family and friends), but know that it is because of imperfectness that we strive to be great
10. Meditation (specifically breathing meditation) can help with becoming more aware

Parenting Guide : How to Enjoy Your Family Meals Together

Meal-times can be an important learning experience for your child. Good nutrition, table manners, polite conversation, family togetherness... How do you manage to convey all this to your kids in between serving dinner and washing the dishes? Here are five golden rules which will help your family make the most of meal-
times.

Parenting Guide : How to Enjoy Your Family Meals Together

Parenting Guide : Eat together

Maybe it seems complicated to have the entire family gathering together for dinner together each night - but if you can't manage it at dinner, when will you all sit down together? This is often the only opportunity each day to share half an hour together as a family. Encourage conversation: Who had a good day and who didn't? As a bonus, young children are likely to imitate Mum and Dad enjoying their vegetables.

Parenting Guide : Always sit when you eat

Establish this rule the moment your baby starts walking. Kids don't need to be formally seated at the table every time they eat a piece of fruit, but you can set aside a small chair for snacks. If you allow your toddler to wander around munching on crackers and soft banana, you are condemned to hours of extra cleaning, in between trying to identify the mysterious furry substance stuck to the carpet.

Parenting Guide : Take what you want, eat what you take

It might seem more efficient to for the Domestic Chef to serve out all the meals. But if you allow everyone to serve themselves - even the little people - there's less chance of waste and less risk of tearful children being nagged to finish one last mouthful when they're already full. Make sure kids understand that they must eat everything they take, and they will learn to assess exactly how hungry they are.

Parenting Guide : Don't sip while you sup

According to an old wives tale, drinking during meals turns all your food into indigestible mush in your stomach. Perhaps this is true, but children are more likely to turn their meal into soup on their plates as they play with their drinks. Or they will fill up on water, so they're not hungry for the nutritious food you spent hours preparing. So it is ultimately more practical to ban drinks at meal-times - unless you're trialling a particularly spicy dish.

Parenting Guide : Say "Thank you for dinner"

It's easy for children - and other family members - to assume that dinner magically appears on the table each evening. Once they've eaten, they disappear, leaving the lonely and resentful Domestic Chef contemplating soiled plates and cutlery. Demonstrate some appreciation by encouraging the kids to say "thank you for dinner" each night. Not only will your Domestic Chef appreciate the courtesy, it will also help children understand an important element of the food chain - meals must be prepared.

Parenting Guide : Children Love Doing Chores

We've been teaching our kids chores since they were 2 years old. We have a picture of each of our 3 children, at about the age of 5 or 6, doing diWe've been teaching our kids chores since they were 2 years old. We have a picture of each of our 3 children, at about the age of 5 or 6, doing dishes in their birthday suits because their clothes got so wet! NO! We'll never post those pictures on-line or show them to anyone - but it sure was funny at the time!

The niece I told you about? Jane? Her mother did ALL THE HOUSEHOLD CHORES. She refused to allow the children to work outside of the house. In fact, her children didn't have to do homework. YIKES! Jane is now 20 years old, severely depressed, living at home, not working, and hasn't finished high school.

I look at this as being an extreme case, but maybe it isn't?!

So HOW teach kids to do chores? And WHY?!

Have you ever gone to an event and ended up helping out? And when you helped out you felt that you were a PART OF SOMETHING! Children MUST feel that they are valued, contributing members of the family in order to feel that they are valued and that they are an intrinsic, needed member of the family. And there is exactly one way to for them to develop this feeling - it is a need of children to do chores.

HOW teach kids? Start early - or if you didn't, START NOW!

Parenting Guide : Children Love Doing Chores

Of course kids will complain about doing chores - heck I complain about doing chores. So what? There is a need of children to do them anyway.

At what ages should we teach kids chores and what kinds of child jobs are suitable?

Start early - at 2 years old they are fully capable of helping pick up their toys. They can dress themselves, feed themselves, have a hoot bathing themselves (with supervision!) Think about this: when you do something for a child that the child can and SHOULD be doing for him or herself, the underlying, unspoken message you give is "You are not competent. You are NOT capable." That's why we hear the words "NO! ME DO IT!" from 2 year olds. At two-years old, a child already understands that his/her whole job in life is to become capable and competent.

YES! Have a two-year old dress himself, feed herself, walk by himself, bath herself, is messy, imperfect, and sssssssslllllllloooooowwwwwww! BUT our whole job as parents is to raise children to become competent, capable, contributing adults in our society. And it starts at two years old!

We had the list of chores for kids posted on the wall on a bulletin board, in big letters. The chores were divided into three separate sets (3 kids!). And each child was responsible for those chores that week. And it worked. Not without argument, but it worked.

At 9 years old my kids were helping to make breakfast for the family and soon, making breakfast for the family by themselves. In our family, boxed cereals were NOT breakfast. (I consider sugary cereals to be in the same category as candy and we treat them as such.)

Parenting Guide : Children Love Doing Chores

The rules for breakfast were that it must include a protein, a fruit and a bread of some sort. So our breakfasts, made by children, often included, toast, eggs of some sort - often scrambled eggs or hard boiled eggs, maybe waffles, venison sausage, fruit.

My middle son preferred cleaning the bathroom - go figure. He had fun cleaning the toilet. More power to him! My oldest son at 14 years came to me out of the blue,"Mom, I want to make a cheesecake tonight." My response was "what kind of cheesecake and let me go get those ingredients right now for you!!" My daughter has always been excellent at cleaning the kitchen and organizing (funny how her own room stays so messy!!)

As our children hit 14 and were of age to be hired, they got part-time jobs. And we have glowing recommendations from their employers. Each had work ethics learned at home. Each knew how to work and how to learn to work in a new environment - NO! they didn't work easily at home all the time! NO! It wasn't always fun to argue or fight with them about doing their chores. YES! We did argue and fight and insist and YES! They did their chores. And YES! Sometimes doing chores together lead to great conversations and lots of fun!

YES! It's often easier to do it myself! YES! It's easier to let them do it then clean it again afterwards. NO! I don't do that. It is a need of children to have chores, to do chores, and to come back and do those chores again until they are done right. Ashes in their birthday suits because their clothes got so wet! NO! We'll never post those pictures on-line or show them to anyone - but it sure was funny at the time!

The niece I told you about? Jane? Her mother did ALL THE HOUSEHOLD CHORES. She refused to allow the children to work outside of the house. In fact, her children didn't have to do homework. YIKES! Jane is now 20 years old, severely depressed, living at home, not working, and hasn't finished high school.

I look at this as being an extreme case, but maybe it isn't?!

So HOW teach kids to do chores? And WHY?!

Have you ever gone to an event and ended up helping out? And when you helped out you felt that you were a PART OF SOMETHING! Children MUST feel that they are valued, contributing members of the family in order to feel that they are valued and that they are an intrinsic, needed member of the family. And there is exactly one way to for them to develop this feeling - it is a need of children to do chores.

HOW teach kids? Start early - or if you didn't, START NOW!

Of course kids will complain about doing chores - heck I complain about doing chores. So what? There is a need of children to do them anyway.

At what ages should we teach kids chores and what kinds of child jobs are suitable?

Start early - at 2 years old they are fully capable of helping pick up their toys. They can dress themselves, feed themselves, have a hoot bathing themselves (with supervision!) Think about this: when you do something for a child that the child can and SHOULD be doing for him or herself, the underlying, unspoken message you give is "You are not competent. You are NOT capable." That's why we hear the words "NO! ME DO IT!" from 2 year olds. At two-years old, a child already understands that his/her whole job in life is to become capable and competent.

YES! Have a two-year old dress himself, feed herself, walk by himself, bath herself, is messy, imperfect, and sssssssslllllllloooooowwwwwww! BUT our whole job as parents is to raise children to become competent, capable, contributing adults in our society. And it starts at two years old!

We had the list of chores for kids posted on the wall on a bulletin board, in big letters. The chores were divided into three separate sets (3 kids!). And each child was responsible for those chores that week. And it worked. Not without argument, but it worked.

At 9 years old my kids were helping to make breakfast for the family and soon, making breakfast for the family by themselves. In our family, boxed cereals were NOT breakfast. (I consider sugary cereals to be in the same category as candy and we treat them as such.)

The rules for breakfast were that it must include a protein, a fruit and a bread of some sort. So our breakfasts, made by children, often included, toast, eggs of some sort - often scrambled eggs or hard boiled eggs, maybe waffles, venison sausage, fruit.

My middle son preferred cleaning the bathroom - go figure. He had fun cleaning the toilet. More power to him! My oldest son at 14 years came to me out of the blue,"Mom, I want to make a cheesecake tonight." My response was "what kind of cheesecake and let me go get those ingredients right now for you!!" My daughter has always been excellent at cleaning the kitchen and organizing (funny how her own room stays so messy!!)

As our children hit 14 and were of age to be hired, they got part-time jobs. And we have glowing recommendations from their employers. Each had work ethics learned at home. Each knew how to work and how to learn to work in a new environment - NO! they didn't work easily at home all the time! NO! It wasn't always fun to argue or fight with them about doing their chores. YES! We did argue and fight and insist and YES! They did their chores. And YES! Sometimes doing chores together lead to great conversations and lots of fun!

YES! It's often easier to do it myself! YES! It's easier to let them do it then clean it again afterwards. NO! I don't do that. It is a need of children to have chores, to do chores, and to come back and do those chores again until they are done right.

Parenting Guide : The Joy of Parenting Children

Raising children should be a joyful and wonderful experience. Unfortunately, there are all too many parents out there that have children but consider it to be a chore when they spend time with them.

Kids should be considered blessings and in all honesty, will be the best gift you ever receive. They should be treasured, protected and loved as well as listened to, cared for and respected. By following these parenting tips, you will learn to bask in the happiness that parenting children will bring.

Parenting Guide : The Joy of Parenting Children

Parenting Guide : Get to Know Your Child

That may sound a bit silly because you've been raising your kids since the day they were born. But unfortunately, a lot of parents think that they truly know their children because they remember the foods they prefer, the television shows they like or even the kind of bubble bath they love. Knowing a few likes and dislikes doesn't mean that you truly understand what makes your child tick.

It is essential that both parents take the time to get to know the person that their child is growing into. You should expose your kids to as many new things as possible to help them find what they love to do, eat and play.

Parenting tip: It isn't necessary to spend a lot of money trying out new things. There are some free museums you can go to in order to pique there interests in different things. You could borrow a softball bat, ball and glove to find out if your kids like to play softball before doling out the cash to register them for teams. The opportunities are endless for you to get to know your children and develop strong child parent relationships.

Parenting Guide : Spend Time with Your Kids

It seems that everyone is busy nowadays, hustling and bustling to take care of their job responsibilities as well as social commitments. Unfortunately, many people fail to cut out a chunk of time to spend with their children. Parents who ensure that they have quality time with their children have better child parent relationships than those who do not. So, be sure to put your children before other social commitments and you will enjoy the time you spend together.

Parenting Guide : Play Together

One of the best ways that will help you to enjoy parenting children is by playing with them. There are a lot of parents out there that simply couldn't be bothered getting down on the floor and playing cars or coloring in a book. Kids need the companionship of their parents and your child parent relationships will be greatly enhanced when you let your hair down and play with your children.

Parenting Guide : Bedtime Is the Best Time

All too many parents are so exhausted from working all day and raising children in the evenings to spend quality time with their kids at bedtime. Bedtime is the best time to bond with your kids. Parenting tip: Tucking in your kids and reading them a soothing story can help your child sleep better at night.

Parents who allow their kids to watch TV until they fall asleep miss out on so much in their children' lives. Reading teaches your child to use his or her imagination and creates lifelong memories for them as well. It is more likely that a child who was read to nightly will take the time to read to their own kids when it comes time for them to be raising children.

Parenting Guide : The Magic Wand of Parenting

Children are born virtually powerless and rely on us to dress them, feed them, bathe them, and put them to bed. If your baby refuses to eat or sleep you recognize you cannot force him to comply, so you try different food, shuffle the sleeping schedule, and do everything you can to get him working with you.

As your children get older and more verbal, you might begin to lose your willingness to see it their way and start to insist they comply with your wishes. They continue to develop stronger opinions, while you become more and more determined to have it your way. Most days you truly believe that what you are enforcing is necessary for your child's safety, health, or well-being. Sometimes though, you know you are determined to get your way because you are tired, irritated, embarrassed, or otherwise bothered.

Parenting Guide : The Magic Wand of Parenting

Parent Power refers to the authority given to us as parents to enforce rules and boundaries with our children in order to teach them right from wrong.

When it comes to an impasse, in which your child simply won't see your side of the message and you aren't willing (or able) to go with his, Parent Power is like a magic wand that you can use to make sure your wishes come out on top.

Of course, it's not as easy as simply wielding a wand and magically gaining compliance, but this power does allow us to utter statements like "Because I said so," or "As long as you're under my roof" and believe them to be true.

Ultimately though, Parent Power relies on your child believing you have this authority for it to work.  It weakens when you are inconsistent, forget to follow- through or push too hard and cause your child to call your bluff.

When kids figure out that while parents can make their lives miserable there is really little they can do if their child absolutely refuses to comply with their wishes, Parent Power becomes obsolete!

To keep Parent Power working best it must be used by a calm, controlled parent. As your child grows, her power naturally increases until eventually you will find yourself relying on the respect you have built with her to gain cooperation. If you haven't used your power in the early years to build this respect, things can get extremely challenging when your child gets older.

In the ideal situation Parent Power is used as a backup after other tools have failed to work.

To illustrate, let's pretend you ask your three year old daughter to come and clean up her crafts.

She ignores you and sits down at the computer ready to play. You walk over, place your hand calmly across the keyboard, and assertively tell her, "I've asked you to clean up your crafts, do that first please." She whines and fusses insisting you remove your hand and saying she'll clean up later. Taking a calming breath, you give her an option, "Clean up your crafts before playing on the computer or the computer is off for the day and you can go to your room while I clean up your crafts."

Parenting Guide : The Magic Wand of Parenting

She doesn't listen and angrily begins tugging at your hand. You pick her up and carry her to her room calmly but firmly. As you set her down you remind her she must stay there until she has calmed down and is ready to listen. In this situation, you have modeled assertiveness and options statements before using your Parent Power to enforce your instruction.

The problem with Parent Power arises when you skip the learning piece and jump straight into getting your way. In other words, you ask (or demand) your child clean up her crafts and when she doesn't listen, you pull out your power to make her do it.

"That's it! You're off the computer and you might not even get to go play with Emily like we had planned if you don't smarten up.  Clean up your mess, now!"

You know how badly she wants to go to her play-date with Emily and you are using that knowledge, and your ability to cancel it, to make her do as you say. When this happens you set yourself up for power struggles, boundary testing and much future heartache (not to mention Emily's disappointment).

Becoming aware of your parent power and how to use it wisely is an important step to using this magic wand as it was intended.  It also will help you build a relationship with your child that will work much more effectively, even when your power is exhausted.

Parenting Guide : Foster Creativity In Your Children

Encourage your kids to sign up and embrace something that they love. Whether it's drumming, hip-hop or clown school; give them opportunities to go out, sign up and then make sure to give them the time and space to choose to do the work required at home.

Parenting Guide : Foster Creativity In Your Children

1. Comedy. Join a comedy troupe. Then when someone asks "What are you.. a comedian?" They can answer: "Yes!" Which reminds me; a cat, a poodle and giraffe go into a bar...
2. Start a business. Dog walking. Cat sitting. Lawn mowing. Make something cool that people need like funky knitted hats. Find ways to get customers and learn how to keep them as well.
3. Write a family history. It could be a book, a video a la Ken Burns or it could be a blog. When you combine personal history with story-telling you end up with a powerful creative skill.
4. Make some protest songs. If you play an instrument you could write songs using your guitar or piano. If not, there are great music-creating software programs out there. Go out a sing those songs wherever and whenever you can.
5. Muppets! Create your own. Find a character. Do parties. Go to hospital wards and have your new creation meet and greet. (That's how Elmo started)
6. Knitting or Crocheting. This is huge these days with kids in their teens and twenties. Their are knitting raves, flashmob knitting and it's just a great thing that's being re-invented. Yarn-balming around telephone poles. Knitting cell-phone covers, wine bottle covers, dog coats and more. This ain't your Granny's knitting!
7. Claymation. It's slow. Painstakingly so, but amazing. If you are willing to put in the time, you can create new universes and have them do what you want to do and say what you want to say.
8. Filmmaking. This is how the great directors started. Just doing it on their own on zero or minimal budgets. Sometimes, we can tell the very best story when we are limited in the way we can tell that story. Filmmaking on a budget can do that.
9. Cooking. Some film directors have likened making a film to cooking a meal: Choosing your meal and getting the recipes is like the script. Shopping for the perfect ingredients is like shooting the film. Cooking the meal is like editing and the place setting and the food placement is like the theatrical opening of the show. See food that way and open up to a whole new experience in dining.
10. Write and perform your own musical on a theme that means something to you. This gets you to do some acting, singing, script-writing, set and costume design, marketing and build your organizational skills (when you get others involved).

Parenting Guide : Foster Creativity In Your Children

It's not important what creative outlet your child chooses, how they do it or what they can do with it. it really is the process that enriches their lives. It teaches so many skills like patience, perseverance, faith in themselves and most important of all; it teaches them to marvel at the creative process from chaos to completion. A skill that many have lost appreciation for.

One last thing: If you are reading this, you are a parent who cares. Sometimes that may be all you need but never underestimate your child as a resource to guide you in what to do as a parent. Ask them. You may be surprised by their answers. Share in their creative endeavors as an impassioned spectator. Join in their communities and honor their mentors who earn your trust.

Parenting Guide : My Teen Disrespect Me?

Do you experience any of the following?

• That tone that makes you feel completely disrespected 
• That "know it all" attitude that absolutely drives you crazy 
• Yelling and fighting that leaves you hurt and exhausted day after day 
• Continuing to text, surf Facebook, or play video games when you are trying to connect 
• Constant bickering and arguing that just never ends 
• Passive resistance ("In a minute Mom") that leaves you feeling stuck and helpless 
• Completely ignoring you like you don't even exist 
• And other annoying or upsetting behaviors

Have you actually taught your teen to treat you this way?

Here's the bad news, it's possible that you have.

Parenting Guide : My Teen Disrespect Me?

However, it's not your fault. Many of us had our emotional boundaries violated as children. Were your ideas put down or made fun of? Were your concerns minimized or invalidated? Were you told what you should do, how you should think, and how you should feel, and given the general impression that what you did, thought and felt were essentially wrong? If you answered yes to these questions, join the club. Many of us had similar experiences.

It's not that we were singled out for this type of treatment. As a society, we have put a lot more emphasis on being heard than on listening. While everybody's talking, there's nobody listening. In our collective frustration, we've said mean and hurtful things, while dismissing each others' feelings. Many of us got used to this type of communication as children because we were surrounded by it. It makes sense that as adults, many of us are largely unaware of our own emotional boundaries. It also makes sense that our children's tone or attitude didn't grab our attention until it was way over the line. As parents trying to set some boundaries with our teens, we can literally be at a loss for words.

Here's the good news. You are right where you are supposed to be!

That is the tricky thing about boundaries. You don't know what your boundaries are until someone over steps them. Let me demonstrate how it works. Imagine we are together in a workshop setting. I am standing about 20 feet away from Barbara and I ask her to stand up. I tell Barbara that I am going to walk toward her, and when I reach the distance from her that is comfortable for talking, she should just say stop. I walk a few paces, Barbara says stop. I complete the step that I am in the middle of and stop.

I am standing right on top of her.

My physical distance from her is uncomfortably close. You can see it in her facial expression and body language. I ask if that was where she really wanted me to stop and she says no. Then I take one step back and ask if this is really where she wanted me to stop. She laughs a little and relaxes and says yes.

This is how it works with boundaries. You don't realize your boundaries are being overstepped until you start to feel uncomfortable. Then of course, it's too late. However, you really weren't in a position to speak up until it got to that point.

So relax and be gentle with yourself. You are right where you are supposed to be! There are tools available to help you clarify your boundaries, and define how you want to be treated. Having your boundaries overstepped can be the catalyst to creating the relationship you desire.

Parenting Guide : My Teen Disrespect Me?

One of the most difficult things about setting boundaries is knowing what your boundaries are in the first place. Jane will be breaking it down in a Free webinar "Boundaries, The Limits of Love" on Friday, July 27, 2012 at 2:00pm EST.

Here is what you will learn:

1) How do I know when it's time to set boundaries?
2) What barriers can I expect to encounter?
3) How can I communicate my boundaries clearly?

Parenting Guide : Supporting a Troubled Teenager

The many responsibilities of single parenthood can often overwhelm the most efficient multi-tasker. The time and energy needed to successfully support a depressed or troubled teenager can often devastate the delicate balance of a single parent family. In order to prevent neglect of the other aspects of your family and household, here are some tips to keep in mind to help maintain a holistic focus.

Maintain an honest and open family relationship. While your instincts may be to shelter other siblings and family members from the pain and anxieties of your troubled teenager, remember that children can sense when something is wrong. Being open and honest about what is going on can not only help any hidden thoughts of guilt, but can empower your children to help their sibling by showing support in their own way. In addition, encouraging everyone to share their thoughts and feelings can also help uncover any similar thoughts in other children.

Parenting Guide : Supporting a Troubled Teenager 

Consider the needs of healthy children. When there is a major fire, our impulse is the focus all of our efforts on putting it out. However, there are often embers smoldering in other areas that are kept at bay with proper balancing. The depression of one family member can often ignite the stress and anxiety in others so remember to keep a close eye on the siblings and maintain as much balance within the household as possible.

Seek out single parent support systems. Even in a two parent family, parents can become overwhelmed by trying to maintain a household during a crisis situation. This pressure is increased exponentially in a single parent household. Remember to seek out and maintain single parents support systems to help with stressful situations. Sometimes, simply talking with an understanding friend or family member can reduce stress and anxiety.

Parenting Guide : Supporting a Troubled Teenager 

Resist finger-pointing. Maintaining a positive outlook in an otherwise scary and tumultuous situation can often be very difficult. Resist blaming yourself or others since doing so will only cause additional stress to an already pressurized situation. The primary focus should be on restoring normalcy and moving toward a positive, healthy future.

Remember how to schedule self-care. While taking care of loved ones is the priority for the single mom, you can't forget to take care of yourself even in the face of adversity. The first order of business is making sure you maintain your good physical and mental health so that you provide the needed support for your family.

Parenting Guide : Getting Your Kids to Eat Healthier

Have you ever wondered why grocery stores keep the sugar laden cereals at your kid's eye level? Or why 99.9% of food commercials on TV are advertising junk, processed foods. Or better yet, why they have all the candy right there at the checkout stands so your kids can pester, plead, and beg you to buy them candy the whole time you're trying to check out? Yep, it's a conspiracy against parents. Luckily, there are some strategies we can use (besides never taken your kiddos into a store again or banning your TV) to help us get around all the unhealthy foods that seem to be pushed on us and our kids.

Parenting Guide : Getting Your Kids to Eat Healthier

I have been blessed with having both teenagers and younger kids at the same time. Both sets with different dietary needs and different likes and dislikes when it comes to food. My teenage boys are athletic, physical, growing boys. Even though they both look full grown (at 6 feet tall) they are still growing and their bodies, inside and outside, need the right foods to help them with this.
My two younger children have different needs both physically and emotionally when it comes to food. They are both adopted and we've had to learn the challenge of dealing with children who have had to go hungry in their past. Hunger can do many things to you emotionally. We've had to learn to help our children understand they won't ever go hungry again. That they don't need to hoard food or over eat. It hasn't been easy and it will be a long road but we are trying to help them understand by always having nutritious meals and snacks (and sometimes not so nutritious snacks just for the fun of it) available for them.

So, how do you get kids to think about healthy eating without having them obsess about it or giving them an unhealthy complex? Exercise and watching what you eat are the two obvious answers to keeping your kids fit. But how do you really get kids to do that? Especially if they have a tendency to be little mini couch potatoes. Here are a few ideas for you.

Parenting Guide : Getting Your Kids to Eat Healthier

1. Set the example- You can't get your little mini me's to eat nutritiously when they see you eating McDonalds and Dunking Donuts. Not that I don't love donuts. Because I do. I really LOVE donuts. However, donuts aren't the norm for us. Set the example by making nutritious eating a priority in your own life.
2. Cut out the sugar- Ok, maybe you can't completely cut sugar out of your life but you can cut way back. Some simple things you can do is to avoid fruit snacks, deli meats, fruit juices, kid's yogurts, and avoid the cereal aisle. Even the healthiest cereals really aren't that good for you. The sugary cereals are no better than handing your kids a handful of cookies in the morning and telling them to drown them in milk. Try eggs, oatmeal, toast, etc... I know, you may have to actually cook breakfast in the mornings. However, depending on the age of your kids, they can certainly help. So, slip on those big girl panties and go for it.
3. Pizza, Fries, Sodas, Oh My! Teenagers are notorious for wanting to live off junk. Mine are no exception. They want their bodies to look good so they can strut their stuff but they want to eat junk. As a parent of teens, it can be a real challenge once they start going off on their own more and more. You aren't always there to control what they are eating. Plan on having as many sit down meals as possible (sitting down at your own table and not McDonalds) during the week. Your family needs the bonding time as well as the proper nutrition they receive from the home cooked meals.
4. Purchase healthy foods- Your kids won't starve to death if they don't have junk food available on a daily basis. It's OK to have the occasional not so healthy snack. Just don't make it the everyday habit.
5. Let them help with the meal planning- That's easy for me since I own a menu planning service. After the menus are out for that week I will let the whole family decide what we are eating for the week. It makes a huge difference when they have had a say so on what to eat.
6. Become friends with the smoothie- Do you know how much you can hide in a simple smoothie? Lots. And, your little picky eaters will never know the difference. You can pack a lot of nutrition in a smoothie. So what if it's consumed through a straw?
7. Start early- Start early teaching your kids about healthy eating. Teach them about the effects of sugar and that sugar isn't the only way to sweeten your foods.
8. Teach your older childen- It's not too late to start teaching your older children about nutrition and keeping their bodies fit. Teach them to cook. All four of my boys are learning to cook (my youngest wants his own cooking show) and learning healthy ways to cook.
9. Respect their appetites - If they really aren't hungry, don't try to force them to eat. Don't bribe them to clean their plates. And please don't use the starving children act. Likewise, if your child has a tendency toward overeating, help him or her to understand what it means to be full. We quite often ask one of our younger ones, "is your tummy comfortable?" That's when you need to stop. Don't make them feel guilty or bad for how little or much they eat.
10. Get out of in front of the TV!!!- Ok, I can't stress this one enough. And with summer upon us it should be easier to do. Three years ago we gave up our cable. We still have internet and can watch movies but we limit it. So, get your kids and yourself outside. Take an early morning walk, go swim, ride a bike, throw a ball.

You don't have to be the food police. It's OK (really it is) to have a donut every now and then. The occasional candy bar is OK in my book as well. What you don't want is to make it the norm and you want your kids to understand why it's not the norm. Remember, it really is about life style. You choose the style and your kids will follow.